How Can I Protect Myself from Abuse?
Did these questions ever come to your mind: How can I be safe? What power do I have over a big adult?
You may be smaller than an adult, but you still have power. A powerful power.You have eyes to see, ears to hear, a voice to yell, legs to run, and feelings to trust. Remember: Being smart is better than being big and tough.
Say "NO"
- When someone does or ask you to do things that you do not want to do or do not feel comfortable to do, say "NO"...and say it LOUD.
- You are not a bad boy or a bad girl if you do not obey adults when they ask you to do things that you do not feel safe or comfortable with. Say "NO" when any person's action makes you uncomfortable.
- You can also say "Stop", "I do not like that", "This is not fun", say it LOUD.
Yell, Yell, Yell
- You as a child, have a natural talent for yelling. You can use this talent to protect yourself. Screams are meant to alert others of danger, whether real or imagined. Screaming will provide an opportunity for someone to attempt to help and save you.
- Sometimes it is good to yell specific statements such as "Help", "I need help", "This is not my father", "I am being kidnapped".
- Child abductors in prisons today say that if the potential victim child had made any noise, they would have left them alone.
Cut the Dialogue
- Do not get involved in dialogues with strangers and with whom you do not feel comfortable with. If they try to open up a dialogue, you can just say "NO" and get out of there. Do not get involved in any conversation with tricky people.
- Never accept rides or gifts from someone you do not know well, if they offer you, just say "NO". Do not get into a dialogue with them.
- Make sure you know your full name and address, but never give them to anyone you do not know well.
Trust your feelings
- Pay attention to your inner voice, that little voice inside you.
- Trust your feelings about what is right and what is wrong. When you have a bad feeling about a person or a situation, leave immediately. If someone is asking you to do something that you do not feel is OK to do, and they are trying to convince you that it is not wrong, DO NOT DO IT.
- Believe in yourself and trust your heart and feelings. Do not worry about being paranoid or being called "chicken" or worse. Being safe is more important.
- If you do not feel you like to be alone with someone or do not like some one to touch you, then try to get away from that situation. Do not force yourself to stay with people that you do not feel safe with or stay in places that you do not feel you are safe.
- If it happened that you are alone with someone that you do not feel comfortable with, and you can't get away from there, try to say things to let them know that someone is coming now. You can say "My mother will come any minute now", "My big brother will be back soon". You can judge what you can say at that time.
Take three steps back and run like the wind
- If you feel you are in a situation that you do not feel comfortable in, or if you feel that the person in front you is trying to abuse you...
- Do not wait... As you stand... Take three steps back... And run like the wind.
- Do not look back to the person, just go to a place where you feel safe.
Do not keep bad secrets
here are two types of secrets, good secrets and bad secrets.
What are good secrets?Good secrets are fun secrets. They can make you happy, like birthday present secrets or surprise secrets. It is OK to keep these types of secrets. Good secrets will never let you feel bad or worried.
Examples of good secrets:- Birthday present surprise.
- Dress to wear on a party.
Bad secrets are any secrets that gets your heart worried, makes you feel guilty, or sad or gives you any bad feelings. It is never OK to keep such a secret.
Example of bad secrets:- Some one older than you hurts you and asks you not to tell anyone.
- Some one touches you in a way that you did not feel comfortable and asks you not to tell anyone.
- Some one makes you do things that you do not want to do and asks you not to tell anyone.
You are not a bad boy or a bad girl, if an adult take promises from you not to say things they call secrets that makes you worry, or makes you feel guilty or confused and if you tell those secrets to someone you trust. Remember, TELLING is not the same thing as TATTLING. It is a brave and right thing to do.
Know what a good touch and a bad touch is
- We all know, How a good touch feels like. A good touch might be a hug from Mum and Dad, a snuggle with your grandma for a story.
- Many kids have also felt a bad touch at some times in their life. Bad touches, like hitting, pinching or kicking hurt and are no fun.
- Touching can also leave you feel confused. Sometimes being tickled or hugged is fun and make you laugh. But it can make you feel uncomfortable and you do not want it to continue.
- When a touch feels bad or confusing, it can be abuse, especially when you ask some one to stop and they do not. Even if they tell you it is a game.
- Good touches make you feel warm and happy.
- Bad touches make you feel scared and bad.
Be aware of tricky people
- Trust your feelings about people. Remember, it is not how they look that matters, but what they do and what they ask you to do that matters.
- Take your own decision rather than just going along with the crowd or an adult.
- Trust your own judgment to know if certain behaviors are appropriate or safe.
Tell someone you trust
- If it happened and someone abused you, Do not keep silent, tell someone you trust, this will help in reducing your pain and also in stopping the abuse in the future. The abuser gains power from secrecy. Do not give them this power.
- If the first one you tell does not believe you, tell another one and so on until someone believes you and help you.
- There are many people who want to help you. We also want to help you too.
- Talking about what has happened to you is the bravest thing to do.
- Do it, it is a right thing to do.
